New season. New Couch. New issues boggling this boy over here.
Seriously, I thought once I took a small sabbatical from New York City, I thought my eyes wouldn’t roll as much and that it would be all roses, ponies and kettle corn.
Alas, I was wrong. Regardless of which damn couch I’m on and in which city, the issues are still present. Out loud.
The ‘Arman in Columbus’ on a couch meme is the only meme you’ll need this Fall.
- When you get told you look like one of Kardashian…..sisters.
2. When someone asks you if you’re growing your hair to sport a ‘man bun’
3. When you sit down in the salon chair at the hairdressers after a shampoo and wonder if you’ve always been this ugly.
4. When you get ID’d at the bar after said hair cut.
5. When your mum tells you that she’s a ‘Cool mum’. You cringe when you realise where she got that saying from….
6. When your friends back home ask you how ‘Columbia’ is and what it’s like to mingle with college students who will end up running America.
7. When someone tags their friend on Instagram on your recipe for healthy cookie dough with #cheatmeal.
8. When you find a really epic hoodie at H & M, try it on then realise it’s actually from the Women’s section.
9. When you buy the hoodie anyway, send a photo to your sister to show off your new purchase, only to get a photo reply that SHE HAS THE SAME HOODIE.
10. When someone on Instagram claims that lettuce leaves are great substitutes for pizza bases.
11. When you realise the Greek yogurt you thought was on special is ONLY on special when you buy 10 of them.
12. When you wake up perked to bulldoze your to-do list and come 5pm, all you’ve done is stuffed your face, played on Instagram and sent Whatsapp messages to all your friends back in Australia.
13. When you ask your mum if she’d like to Skype with you from America and she asks you how much is it and if they sell it at K-Mart.
14. When you accidentally eat the recipe you’re supposed to shoot at 3am….on a Sunday morning.
15. When you realise that ‘Hamburger Helper’ is actually a food product….and it’s a best seller at your local supermarket.
16. When your mum tells you the same story she told you two weeks ago and when you correct her, she laughs it off then is in a bad mood for the remainder of the conversation.
17. When Alexis wants to grab dinner and you know it’s either going to be at Brassica or North Star Cafe.
18. When you get feedback that your granola bar recipe is better than quakers.
Why not KIND?
19. When season 1 episode 1 of Gilmore Girls ends up in the entire season……from 1 to 6.
20. When a reader asks if adding coconut oil instead of coconut flour would be an accurate substitute.
21. When you polish off the entire bag of gummy bears while watching the OC on Netflix and realise you actually are more and more like your sister than you thought.
22. When a prominent pet food company reaches out to collaborate on a project citing you to have the ‘perfect audience’ for their pet food product.
23. When a reader emails you telling you that they have unfollowed you on Instagram because you named your pet chicken ‘Marie Antoinette’
24. When you randomly see your SIDEBAR IMAGE FLOATING AROUND ON PINTEREST and pass out in embarrassment.
25. When you see it has over 20 likes and 20 repins
Actually, that’s a bit creepy….
Have a great Tuesday, folks.
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